self harm: why?

Self harm is a way for me to deal with negative feelings. When times get tough and there’s just too many negative feelings, I engage in self destructive behaviors to push those feelings and/or emotions and/or memories back down into my body. This behavior serves me–and it serves me well.

I wish I could say that I’ve found healthier alternatives, like yoga and/or meditation and/or exercise etc, to deal with these feelings, but I haven’t … not yet, at least.

I’ve been using self harm as a coping mechanism for a long time. It’s a way for me to feel like I’m in control (and I’m addicted to the serotonin rush).  I do not condone it but I’m not proud of it, either. If you don’t do it– please don’t start; if you do, it’s okay. In fact, it’s probably good that you’ve found a way to keep some emotions at bay. You can’t go around feeling everything all the time. Sometimes it’s too much. I think there are healthier ways of dealing with things, but it’s much easier to suppress the feelings through self harm than to learn and utilize the alternatives.

You’re not alone: Self harm is something most people engage in. It’s less about if people do it, and more about how.

Tactics range from self-deprecating humor to suicide. For the most part, I use binging (on food or alcohol, sometimes both) to suppress my emotions. I know, or have known, people who overspend, abuse drugs, and cut themselves. Aside for suicide, I don’t believe any one method is more dangerous than another. It may be more socially acceptable to binge on alcohol or overspend than to cut oneself, but it’s not really fair to compare methods. They all serve a common purpose, and they all can become addictions. Besides, drugs and alcohol poison your insides and overspending can wreck havoc on the lives around you, while cutting really just leaves scars–which really is worse?

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3 responses to “self harm: why?

  1. It’s interesting that you bring this up. I use self-deprecation and negative thoughts a lot. I insult myself, call myself names and tell myself that I’m worthless. I’ve never really considered this self harm, though my therapist tells me that it’s very harmful to engage in this type of thinking. I guess in its own way it is a coping technique.
    best to you.

  2. Silent Screamer

    i cut myself as well.. im scared of what people will think.. only 3 people know

    • Well, not everyone needs to know everything about you. I would confide in your closest friends, and leave it at that. Please don’t feel like you need to tell everyone, because not everyone will understand.

      I personally believe that everybody engages in some form of self harm, and that there is no right way of doing it. I also think that it’s absurd to say that binge drinking is any safer than cutting, as drinking affects you in the long term. But, unfortunately, not everyone sees it like that.

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